Same crap, different names :P

So as it turns out... yeah, I have no idea. I thought Jason was like, you know... over me... but maybe not.

Today during lunch, Alice and I had ran to my mom's house to get some cake...and hot pockets... When we got back, everyone was in the band hall, like usual. Kansas had asked Cassie to be in his senior pictures today, so she had brought a bunch of different clothes that she could wear to the photo shoot. While Cassie was showing me eveything she brought so that I could help her decide, I caught Jason's eye and the next thing I know, he comes and sits by me, but doesn't talk to me. Normally, he would just chill with the guys, so his actions give me slight reason to think that he really does like me. I don't know. I guess you would have to be there to really get it...

In my first hour class today, I planned on letting Jay do his own thing, but just like last time, he actually started talking to me of his own accord. He also wheeled his chair over to my area and sat behind me while Mr. Brotherton was passing out programming books. And then when I was done with the lab, I went over to my own little table to try and finish some math homework. Soon enough, here comes Jay, wheeling across the classroom to come and sit by me. This is strange for him. I can't tell if he's flirting with his little jokes and the way he picks on me without me provoking him, or if he all of a sudden wants to be close to me. I have nooo clue. If he starts asking me for hugs or just randomly hugging me when I least expect it, then I have reason to worry...or rejoice... I don't know yet. I'll message Cassie about it tonight. Oh oh oh!! And yesterday during Music History, my group and Jay and this guy Devon were all in the auditorium to work on our project (cited in my previous two blog entries). I wasn't really paying attention to anyone but Cassie (she was reading me the quotes as I was writing them down) but a few times, I got distracted. More than once, Jay took my water bottle and drank all the water in it. I definitely never expected him to do THAT. He also chucked the bottle into the seats... And you know how it seemed like he never wanted to touch me? Well, I threatened him for some reason I can't remember, and then he walked up to me and got real close, trying to be intimidating. When I didn't do anything but look up at him, he like...gently bodyslammed me. Ha!! I can't think of any other way to put it. But...the whole front of his body was in contact with mine...talk about shocking!!!

Casey... Well...he still hasn't made any definite moves forward. Sure, we hug and mess around daily, but nothing more than that. I'm afraid that I'm somehow going to drive him away just like I did to Jay. If that happens, Imma be pissed!!! I mean, it's bad enough that I had to lose out on Jay, but Casey too? Hell no!!! I couldn't stand that. Jeez, I'm a loser!! It seems like fate just keeps screwing me over. First, Jay and I were close to dating...but then something happens to mess it all up!! Now, Casey talked to David about asking me out, and according to David, Casey's been flirting with me big time. But nothing's happened yet! Nothing's even progressed much! I think I have plenty of reason to be worried and scared. Am I just falling into the same old traps? Am I incapable of learning my lesson? If not, then how many times do I have to get my heart broken before I finally take the hint?